Nobody knows your kid and your family like you do.
Yourself, you're so far in it that you can barely see your way out of it.
So for all the books and workshops and friendly neighbours and "helpful" relatives and actually helpful relatives, it's still you and that plasticine-like newish person at 3 am, looking into each other's tired and similar eyes. Trying to love and care and be apart and be together.
I don't want Hugo to be like me. I want Hugo to be better than me.
I want Hugo to find love more easily, to give love more easily.
I want Hugo, most of all, to be safe.
I'm thinking of the Admiral and BG, and especially the Admiral's last post.
There's not much anyone can really say to help - I mean, you know your family. I don't, really.
Parenting is so damn scary. And great.
PS. I love your kids.
3 comments:
I always feel lost for words when the friends I have who are parents are struggling with child rearing. I am blank on the subject - I have no idea what you're going through. Somehow my supportive words feel too...thin. I've also had my life experiences brushed aside as being less valid because I don't have children. (This is a family thing. Because I don't have kids and my brother does, it's like I haven't "grown up" and don't have a true understanding of what "life" is about.)
Where is the balance? How does a childless person support a parent in a way that is helpful?
This is a beautiful post, by the way. Particularly 3am and tired eyes that look almost the same.
it is my issue with relatonships in general - there is perhaps not enough intimacy for my liking. i want to know exactly what is in everybody's brain. i want to curl up in there & flip it's pages beside a roaring fire. and i also would like my girls to be better than I . perhaps it is my mostest bestest wish.
hey, PG:
i think just being a person who stays in touch with your friends even after they've procreated makes a big difference.
i had 33 years of not having a kid, right?
and i know, some people spout misogynist garbage about women needing to have a baby to understand life.
blah blah blah.
you totally don't. your life is so super interesting and excitng.
Simone de Beauvoir didn't have kids.
And she was AWESOME.
And hey, maybe people who think their family is the centre of the universe need to "grow up."
.
still, i love hugo tons. and A and A too.
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