Sunday, February 08, 2009

is thanking you and is a tad overwhelmed

Thanks for all the love and phone calls.
Having friends I can call and ask for love and help in tough times makes tough times liveable.
Really, I wasn't doing as well as I'd hoped I would in there.
Hospitals can be icky. And seeing my baby scared and unhappy was terrifying.
We are still shaken ffrom it.
Actually, I'm more anxious and sad. I can't shake the sadness. I need winter to end.

Pettmans : look carefulllllly into your mailbox this coming week! 

I'm IN for the reading club.
Persepolis will be good because it has pictures.
Other than what I read for work and school, I only read very short  books right now. Or books with pictures. 
I'm studying for exams until March. After that, I'll have passed or failed my exams.
Either way, I'm taking a month break from reading anything without pictures in April.

Sometimes I narrate my life as if it were a series of Facebook statuses. (statii?)
Like this:
-is yearning for lost youth.
-is unseemly and tired.
- is nervous about teaching First Nations literature.
-cannot figure out whether "aboriginal" or "First Nations" is more appropriate.
- feels guilty.
- shuns her guilt.
- embraces her guilt.
- wants chocolate.
- has taken too many ibuprofen to digest properly.
- wants to sleep for a month.
- wants her youthful complexion back.
- is nostalgic, which she finds pathetic.
- does not know how she would survive without the geographically scattered and loving and reliable good friends she has.

xoxo
nb

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

scary things take along time to leave our systems, and often transform us. i still get a steel chill when i think of certain hospital rooms. it can still reduce me to tears. it also drives me forward i think. i wouldn't do half of the things i do now if it weren't for that time in my life. when accepted it helps compassion grow. LOL - facebook status! those things are so frought with the pendulum swing towards truth or self-glorification aren;t they?? yours are tres amusant! and i still often say "indian" - so, i am no help at all...